From: agent_7842000 <email@example.com>
Date: Mon, 26 May 2003 18:38:30 -0000
Subject: [ZIF] Re:" Swan Case - U.S. Attorney's Collection of ZIF Posts"
Of course people on ZIF are under investigation. Is this news to you?
All of this zero filing nonsense has to stop. It wastes the taxpayer's money (though I would have to be reassigned if it were to stop, which it won't since you are all like leemmings). (You don't even know how to spell it!) Even when someone gets busted, raided, and all their assets seized, they still don't get it. Let me make is clear:
Pay what we say you owe or go to jail.
Dear Agent 7842000, You WISH we were like lemmings. (You should not use words that are beyond the grasp of your understanding.)
We are under surveillance? Oh, very nice. Please add this then to my "evidence file". Use my real name, like I do.
We know you have the guns. We always said that. We will pay whatever you say we owe at the point of your guns. But, you will have to bring out the bright shiny guns with the real bullets We simply won't pay at the point of your invisible guns, that would be idiotic and self degrading.
You're so brave, aren't you? ALL of you reading my evidence file. Hiding there in your undercover surveillance. You must feel so big and powerful. Why wouldn't you want to meet with us face to face? Wouldn't that be one hell of a lot cheaper and much less time consuming than "watching" us over here on the message boards, tapping our phones, doing all kinds of crazy things....(This reads like "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie). Don't you want to be bullies in person? We want to meet with you.... Are you afraid we might look you in the eyes? You can't stand that, can you? Someone looking you square in the eyes makes you want to pee your pants, doesn't it?
Just so you know, and because I want this to be recorded in my evidence file, we know that you are all either drugged up or dumbed down or brainwashed. And, even with that, you are too afraid to meet with us! I see it all the time, don't I?
EVIDENCE? I have hundreds of tapes of all your voices....Audits and Appeals Depositions Interrogatories and other Discovery proceedings. IRS and DOJ "Monkeys" - (That's my opinion of all of you that I have met) - You say the most idiotic and I can't even find a word for it BIZARRE things! This is why I call you "Monkeys": You cry; you are shy with your eyes always pointing down; your knees go all wobbly; you stick your tongues out trying to find saliva because your mouths are always very dry; you people perspire (from the brow at least) like no other group of people, and so you are constantly wiping your foreheads with your elbows raised up; you can't sit still unless we stay very quiet; and, every time we pull out or open up the law in your presence, you jump up and bolt out of the room running as fast as you can! That is what caged monkeys do at the zoo. (Well, it may not be an IR Code that makes the monkey run away in the zoo, I don't know. Maybe, I've never tried it. )
I am thinking about uploading the audio files of all of the hearings we have attended. We could upload these files by the thousands. You have copies of all of the tapes that we have, so, there should be no problem checking your tape against our tape to be sure that we are not tampering. We have no problem telling the public everything you say. We Want To Tell Them, In Fact. That is our business. That is what we do, remember?
Don't you think that Eileen O'Conner's "Honest taxpayers" should hear how we are scamming our customers by representing them at the IRS over our "frivolous" return and arguments? I think they should hear these meetings so that it will be clear "how to recognize a scam artist". No additional commentary on our part. We will do this as a service to your agency. This way, everyone will know exactly what we do and how you have done everything you could do to stop us from doing it.
They will know why you have to spend so much of their hard earned wages on the guns, seizures, the lawsuits, grand juries, the fancy cop equipment, the U-Haul truck and everything. It will make sense to them, I think, and surely you must agree. Let us help you with your surveillance and public relations. This must be costing the honest taxpayers a fortune! Hey, I know! YOU COULD LINK TO OUR AUDIO FILES FROM YOUR WEBSITES! All government websites could carry them. You could probably sell them feature a new one every day, kind of interactive - you could have something like the Mickey Mouse Club, and a deck of cards with pictures of the agents as the heroes and us as the wanted scammers. The ideas are endless! YOU COULD DO ONE OF THOSE NEAT PRIME TIME TELEVISION COMMERCIALS WHERE EVERYBODY SINGS AND DANCES LIKE YOU RAN LAST YEAR, THE E-FILING CAMPAIGN, ONLY THIS IS EVEN MORE COOL. EXPOSING THE TAX SCAMMERS YOU GOTTA LOVE IT. That would be great! We'll get that much more coverage! You know, about our "scam". Wink wink.
I like it! I'm going to do it. I feel sorry for the poor slaves that are paying for all of these "problems". They pay for it Let's show them where their money goes.
Sincerely yours, Agent 7842000.
Defendant, in I don't know how many criminal, grand jury and civil actions pending.